A Journey of Letting Go – Part 1

This tiny house thing has been an idea lurking in the back of Kyle’s mind for around 4 years now. Me? I have resisted it for, well, 3 ½ years. It sounded like a good idea for someone, but not me. To be honest I never even thought about it seriously until about 6 months ago. This was just a fascination that I thought Kyle would get over. Despite his efforts, however, this idea kept coming back and he couldn’t let it go. He dreamed about building one some day (not necessarily living in one) and even made a tiny house out of popsicle sticks.

The tiny house idea actually began to cross my mind as a possibility sometime mid-September of this last year. Strangely enough, it started with a deer. I was eating breakfast one morning and I get a text from Kyle who had left for work almost an hour ago. It simply read, “I had an encounter with a deer, and it won. Everything’s fine.” My heart skipped a beat as a sat there realizing that he had driven my car to work that day. The only thing I could think of was “My car is totaled!” I assumed Kyle was fine since he said “everything’s fine,” but I also assumed that the car was not. I actually shed a tear or two over the potential loss of my car. You see, this was the car that, for a time, I pretty much lived in due to the driving I did for a previous job. This was the car that replaced my first car. This was the car I had laid claim to and was quite attached to – my car, his truck, you know how it is.

In the moments that followed that text, and after Kyle assured me the car ran fine and was not totaled, I began to realize that the car (and thus materialism) had a hold on me. That was the beginning of a journey of surrender for me. I realized my car had become an idol and I had put it above God, and that by freaking out about how we were going to fix it or buy another one, I was not trusting that He would provide for our needs.

I also began to realize that my identity had become wrapped up in what people thought about me, not in who I am in Christ. The thought of driving around town in a dented in car appalled me. I don’t want people to think….. think what? I don’t know. After surrendering my appearance to God, Kyle and I decided not to get the car fixed. It’s a reminder to me every time I see it or drive it, that my value doesn’t come from what other people give me, but from my Father and Maker.

I tell this story, slightly embarrassed. I know my response was not rational, but God used it to reveal some dirty stuff in my heart. So I tell it to give the glory back to Him. He used this experience as the beginning of surrendering of my stuff and my appearance, both of which were hindrances to me considering tiny living.

And because you are dying to see it, here it is – the Tumbleweed Cypress popsicle stick model, built by Kyle, summer of 2010 🙂

Stay tuned for the rest of the story next week!

~Danae

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3 thoughts on “A Journey of Letting Go – Part 1

  1. What a wonderful story. I’m glad Kyle wasn’t injured and that your car still runs, dent and all. You’re right. We all need to let go of the things that have a hold on us, and it can be pretty much everything around us. My husband and I have downsized considerably over the past 10 years, but we still have a ways to go before we will be down to just what we need. Downsizing from a 1900 sq. ft. house to, currently, a 750 sq. ft. apartment has made a huge difference. I’m not sure tiny house living is for us — we seem to be brick-and-mortar people — but it’s amazing how little of what we once had we even remember! I miss a few things, but very few.

    • It sounds like you have already taken a big step (perhaps several smaller ones) towards living a less wasteful life. Whether it’s ‘brick-and-morter’ or a trailer, the point isn’t necessarily trying to see who can live in the smallest space, it’s about evaluating our needs and living intentionally. Something really pivotal happens when we stop thinking about how we can obtain more, and start thinking of ways to live with less.
      -Kyle

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